Thunder Never Scared Me

There was a thunderstorm in this family's house. I heard their son crying. He was probably around 12 years old. And he was really scared of the storm. He would cry louder every time thunder would strike. It made me think back. I'm more afraid of lightning now than I was as a kid. I remember being a kid and when thunder would start I'd go outside with a big smile to try and see the lightning bolts in the sky. The closer the better. The louder the better. When it would rain I'd fully embrace it, the more soaked my clothes and hair got the better. There was something special about it. But now. I hate the rain. And I hate thunder. It's not like I'm afraid of it. But some slight part of me is worried the lightning will hit me. I'm stupid enough to believe Karma will one day get me for all the people I've killed. Although they were horrible people. Maybe I was their Karma... aaaaand that's the side of myself I hate. I don't want to think like that. I want to minimize the hatred in my heart. But honestly it's harder than it sounds (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

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