"What If" AmIRight?

 Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a sibling. Like an older brother. One who looks out for you similarly to a father, always wants you to meet the right guy. And make sure you’re not getting taken advantage of by dumb men. Or maybe a younger brother, though I don’t think I'd be too good of an older sister. I do wonder if I would have turned out differently with a sibling. Not sure why but when I think about it. I genuinely only think of my sibling being a boy. Maybe because they’d make me feel safer, they seem mentally strong. I don’t know. I feel like they could probably have handled this better than I did. Maybe thinking about that possibility is far fetched because they would have just died with my parents, who knows. But I really do think that just maybe, if I had a sibling. I wouldn’t have turned out like this. I would have had another set of ears, another mind, another human to form and share opinions and emotions with. I lost everything on that day. Maybe if I  just had one thing left it could have been enough. But what’s being innocent in a world like this? What would be the point? Everywhere I step I'm getting dirty. It’s like it was always destined to end up like this. Which is why I have to change it. Or die trying. Because that would be nice too.