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Fireworks

I remember hearing stories about fireworks from my parents. My Dad talked about how back when he was a kid the country still allowed them. Giant pretty explosions in the sky. They represent freedom. I had never really seen one, because I know they don't even make them anymore. But today. I think I saw one. It was beautiful. Just like my mom described. I don't know who lit it off, or where they got that firework. But I'd love to thank them. Because at least I know some people haven't given up yet. The idea of freedom still drives some people. I'm glad. Thank you, Firework.  I do wonder. How many people still enjoy these holidays? whenever any holidays ever come up all I feel is longing for the past. And a flood of memories seep through about this day in previous years. I'm usually extra sad whenever another holiday comes around. 
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Yearning For Freedom

 Almost the 4th of July. Not really celebrated anymore, freedom hasn't been a thing for a while... I'm running out of things to say. I'm running out of things to think. I don't know what I am. I don't know who I am. I don't know why I am. But since freedom is on topic. I should say I have been yearning for it recently.
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Comfort Dryer

  When I was a kid I remember laying in the dryer full of fresh warm clothes. It was my little place. The warmth felt comforting. I'd stay there till the clothes were cold. Well... Room temperature I suppose. But compared to what they were I'd feel cold and get out.  I thought of this cause I was taking my clothes out of the dryer today. Couldn't help but press them to my chest and feel slightly better from the warmth. Although I wish I could still fit in the dryer. Seems when I need comfort the most I'm too old to fit. 
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3rd Person

I used to get the feeling someone was always behind me. Just watching me. You can call it anxiety. I suppose that might have been what it was. Whatever it was it's gone now. All of it is. I don't cry, and yet I don't smile. My music doesn't make me feel anymore. I don't feel like I'm inside my own body anymore... Almost like I'm watching myself in the 3rd person. Wondering what I'll do next... Hm. 
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I Don't Own a Dress :(

  I don't own a dress :( in this attic I'm staying in I found a box of someone's belongings and saw a dress I really liked but I don't want to just take it. Which is saying a lot coming from me. I stole a PS4 ⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍   But for some reason dresses are too sentimental. This one in particular looked like she had a lot of memories. I couldn't just take a girl's core memories. One day I'll buy a dress. And maybe one day I'll stop killing. And just be a normal girl. 
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It's SUMMER! (Pretty Much)

I like Summer. feels easier to be happy around this time. But I'll be honest, I relate to October a lot more. The October sky is so me😜Always feels like it's about to rain. The clouds aren't perfect and white and fluffy. I'm so good at metaphors, I should write a poem.  also I'm bored of the old font, not sure what logic I was using, choosing a simple one so it would be easier to read for other people. Nobody will ever see this anyway, so what's the dang point of it being readable. 
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Thunder Never Scared Me

There was a thunderstorm in this family's house. I heard their son crying. He was probably around 12 years old. And he was really scared of the storm. He would cry louder every time thunder would strike. It made me think back. I'm more afraid of lightning now than I was as a kid. I remember being a kid and when thunder would start I'd go outside with a big smile to try and see the lightning bolts in the sky. The closer the better. The louder the better. When it would rain I'd fully embrace it, the more soaked my clothes and hair got the better. There was something special about it. But now. I hate the rain. And I hate thunder. It's not like I'm afraid of it. But some slight part of me is worried the lightning will hit me. I'm stupid enough to believe Karma will one day get me for all the people I've killed. Although they were horrible people. Maybe I was their Karma... aaaaand that's the side of myself I hate. I don't want to think like that. I w...
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